Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Jersey Doesn't Stink


Some of you may know I'm from Jersey, I was pretty much raised there my entire life and know how much I love our beloved state.

I was driving 90 in a 65 (not really, I actually drive 74 in a 65, 9 miles above the speed limit...I avoid getting tickets that way because one time I went 10 miles above the speed limit and I got a ticket, but that's not the point of the story). I see this sign on exit 4 on 287 South that says "Jersey Doesn't Stink." So it got me thinking, is New Jersey that filthy that we need billboards and a dedicated website that contains blogs, forums, videos and testimonials to defend our garden state?

So Join the Fight! Oh it's ON! You know Jersey doesn't stink. We know Jersey doesn't stink. It's time the rest of the world found out that Jersey is the polar opposite of a bad stereotype. It's time to get involved! Learn to love Jersey www.jerseydoesntstink.com


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Textees

So I just bought one of those cool Android Google smart phones. The phone is phenomenal, it does everything! From email to Youtube to even a virtual coin toss app...it's got it all. BUT don’t you hate it when you’re texting someone with your cool touch screen phone and your fingers are too stupid or too fat and it completely says the wrong thing...you know what I'm talking about...Well I got the solution for you....Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Textees.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Most Ridiculous Product Ever


I don't know if this thing is real. But WOW. Infomercials just get better and better as you grow older. This might rank as one of the greatest 1.5 minutes of your life...embrace yourself...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

So You Wanna Play Some Basketball?

Does anyone remember this old school video about basketball from Encarta back in the day?

"Fast paced and action packed, basketball is one of the most popular sports in the world....to play....and to watch." I think this was the first video I saw on a computer. Random, I know.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Father of the Year

Check this out...Koral Wira, a 14 year old girl, went fishing with her pops, when a barracuda went for her dad's bait and ended up biting her instead. Poor girl needed 51 stiches, but checkout how her father was basking in the glory of catching a 42 inch fish while his little girl was in agony. Great job dad, I salute you as father of the year! Come on dude!








Monday, August 2, 2010

David After Inception (The Dentist Kid)


I could not stop laughing after seeing this picture. Enjoy!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Birthday Gift


In 1993 I turned 10. My parents bought me this for my birthday. Not gonna lie, one of the best birthday gifts ever.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

The Greatest Movie of Our Generation (Not Really)

Everyone has been talking about "Inception", the Leo movie about entering people's dreams and stealing their deepest and darkest thoughts. But I'm not here to talk about that.

After a night out on the town, my buddy Q and I usually go back to the apartment and turn on the SyFy Channel and watch a late night movie. For all of you who don't know, SyFy is one of the those channels that entertains the Science Fiction turbo nerd in all of us. So far they have been playing some of the most ridiculous movies ever created: Mega Piranha, about mutant piranhas who somehow make their way from the Amazon to Florida and go on a killing spree. Skinwalkers, where a 12 year old boy and his mom are the targets of warring werewolf packs, whom each have different motives. Dino Croc VS. SuperGator (favorite movie to date), about a man obsessed with creating giant sized reptiles with help of genetic engineering at a remote tropical island. As is the case with these monster movies, the experiment goes wrong and two giant sized creatures namely the Supergator and Dinocroc get free and engage in mass killing of humans.

If you're looking to die with laughter or be shocked beyond your wildest imagination, I think this one takes the cake: Sharktopus, which will be premiering on the SyFy channel on September 25th! That's right, it's a genetically engineered Shark/Octopus hybrid created for government purposes, but by some completely original plot device that has never ever been used in film before, it somehow manages to break free of its constraints and develops an appetite for human flesh!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Kim Kardashian

My sister Miral writes for Time Magazine. So I thought I would promote her on my blog! Here you guys go...too bad I only get about 20 hits a day....so not sure how helpful this will be..check it out...

Kim Kardashian

REUTERS/Richard Clement

The breastfeeding debate rages on.

Kim Kardashian came under fire by her followers on Saturday with what seemed like an anti-breast feeding comment. She tweeted, ”EWW Im at lunch, the woman at the table next 2 me is breast-feeding her baby w no coverup then puts baby on the table and changes her diaper.”

The tweet put her in the middle of what remains a contentious subject: Selma Hayak nursed a starving baby in Sierra Leone on camera to lift the stigma against breast-feeding. Women in the Phillipines kicked off a mass breast-feeding event last year. Facebook’s ban of photos of nipples angered nursers and resulted in thousands of protestors uploading nursing photos to their profiles.

After Twitter criticism, Kardashian walked back her comments, tweeting: “My sister breast feeds! Its a natural beautiful thing, there’s nothing wrong w it, but she covers herself, not w her boobs exposed”

“And you DON’T change a dirty at the dinner table…u use the restroom. Everyone was complaining! Just unsanitary”

Breast-feeding aside, I’m with Kim on this one — changing a baby at a dinner table is just gross.



Friday, June 18, 2010

Super Mario Theme by Violin

Do you remember that asian friend of yours that played the violin? Well, he was training for this his entire life.....

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Obama Love


I saw this on TV a few days ago and had to share this. This is a follow up to my previous Obama post. Obama was in rap video back in the 90s and now he has his own Chia Pet! Are we becoming a little too obsessed over the Obama Mama?


Indian Movies are Classic

I have seen this dude in so many random Indian movies. Everyone please meet Superstar Rajini Kanth. This is probably one of the best fighting scenes you will ever witness in your life.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Whoomp There it is.....Obama?




Everyone from Tea Partiers to hip hop message boards thinks that President Obama was an extra in Tag Team's "Whoomp There it Is" music video. The dude at the 1:01 mark wearing shades and talking on the phone does resemble our President.






Monday, June 7, 2010

C'mon LeBron...really?

I know New York city is the best city in the world and it sells itself. But really? This is what's going to lure LeBron from Cleveland? This is the best video we put together? Mayor Bloomberg come on!

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Website Names Gone Wrong

A buddy of mine sent this to me. It's six websites whose names went horribly wrong :

1)
www.whorepresents.com
Who Represents is a database for agencies 2 be rich n famous!


2)
www.expertsexchange.com
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange
advice and news.

3)
www.penisland.net
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island.

4)
www.therapistfinder.com
Need a therapist?


5)
www.powergenitalia.com
An Italian Power company.

6)
www.molestationnursery.com
Mole station Nursery based in South Wales.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

10 Most Evil Children Ever


These kids are probably the most badass children you'll ever meet in your life. My favorite one is the kid playing chess. Watchout or he'll checkmate your sorry ass.


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ohio Kid Stabs his Mom Over a Cheeseburger


Wow...and people wonder why we are so fat.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Baller!!!!!


I was coming out of Juma today and saw this baller car, turned out it was the Imam's!

I think I need to change my career.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Lebron's Mom and his Teammate an item?




According to Terezowens.com.. LeBron's Mom is having an affair with his teammate Delonte West

In what is truly a disturbing story, comes exclusive Terez Owens news that LeBron’s teammate Delonte West is sleeping with LeBron’s Mother Gloria James..Yes, this is the purported story coming from my source in Cleveland..My source explains the following.”My uncle is the general contractor at the Q and has been for the last 7 years. He’s good friends with a lot of guys at the Q, including some of the bigger boys in the organization and knows Dan Gilbert personally.My uncle has been told that Delonte has been banging Gloria James (Lebron’s Mom) for some time now. Somehow Lebron found out before game four and it destroyed their chemistry and divided the team. I am not making this up, I wish it wasn’t true but it happened. .” With Delonte West’s checkered past, LeBron can be none too pleased with his teammate and good friend hanging with his Mother… The Cavs definitely looked like a different squad from game 4 on..especially LeBron…coincidence, or did this really just happen? Maybe this is the reason LeBron’s leaving Cleveland..-TO

Friday, May 14, 2010

New York Knicks! New York Knicks!


News reporter Bill Simmons was sending out tweets last night for crowd chants during the Boston and Cleveland game. And he got a little creative...they were chanting "New York Knicks." Genius...pure genius.

Let's face it guys...LeBron is coming to the Knicks!

Move Over Avatar


Well 3D movies are making a huge splash this year. You got Avatar, Alice in Wonderland, and Crash of the Titans. Big movies with huge special effects! So the 3D effects do add some pizazz to the movie. But do we really need Step Up and Dance in 3D? Do I really want to see Tatum Channing's hips swinging in 3D?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Michael Jackson in year 2000.....




Back in 1985...Ebony Magazine featured a section called "What Celebrities will look like in the year 2000"...they were off...big time...

Read the fine print at the bottom. "At age 40 Michael Jackson will have aged gracefully and will have a handsome, more mature look. In number, his fans will have grown tenfold by the year 2000."

Monday, May 10, 2010

Iron Man 2 Review is In!



I went out with my mom to see a movie last weekend. I told her we were going to see an Indian movie, but she had no idea I pulled the old "switcharoo" and we went to Iron Man 2 instead. Happy Mother's day!

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

For All the Single Ladies....

A lot of females were asking me who the dude in the shades was from my post yesterday. So here is my promo for him.....Drum roll please.......

Well, you've come to the right place. Get ready to double dip into a delicious fusion of Indian goodness. No, it's not the new restaurant on your street: it's my buddy Qasim…aka...Q!!!

He's been to China. He's been to Puerto Rico. But he hasn't been out with you...yet. But he's ready. So put down that Seventeen magazine and apply! Your dream date with Q awaits.

To put it quite simply: In the refrigerator of life, Q is the Sunny Delight and all other guys are the purple stuff.

If somehow you're still not convinced that Q is perfect for you, I'm keeping a running tally of the near infinite reasons why you should date Q.

The Top Reasons Why You Should meet this man:

Q only wears short-sleeve shirts. It became too much of a hassle sewing his long-sleeves back together each time he accidentally flexes his muscles.

Used to read Word Up magazine.

When he sees something, he says something.

Has always believed it wasn’t butter.

He's so lucky that he often uses the 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button when he Googles.

He always does the code for 30 lives when he plays Contra, but only uses one.

Can name all six teams from Legends of the Hidden Temple.

He's kid tested and mother approved.

He is qualified to operate the safety showers in hospitals all throughout the continental United States.

Prefers mittens to gloves.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Better Marriage Bed

Someone at work sent me this. I have to go to a bunch of weddings this summer...so nothing better than a better marriage bed. By the way..this is a real product....I called the number.

Not the Sharpest Tool in the Shed


Before you click on the video I want to let you know that my buddy Q tried to dispute this violation at the Long Island Nassau County Police Department. He told the judge that he didn’t run the red light and that he would never do anything like that. Well he had no idea what he was getting himself into...the police had him on tape.

End result: Ticket of $75 plus $150 for wasting the judge’s time.



Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Death of a Blackberry




Question: What are you going to do right after you quit investment banking?
Answer: I'm gonna destroy the living shit out of my electronic leash...aka...blackberry.

In this video, you are about to witness my roommate Mohsin's tireless attempt to annihilate his blackberry the night he ended his career as a banker. Little did he know that those little buggers are quite tough to break.

Viewer discretion is advised...
The random roars he makes are to die for.

On a side note: Check out Mohsin's clothing style......shalwar pants and undershirt.

Also, in the end of the video, you can check out a glimpse of my other roommate, Zahid's dance moves...genius.

Meet My Cousin





So check it out, this is my cousin Shahzad. He's the youngest cousin in our family. What makes him so cool is that he has a great collection of hats. This is my favorite hat. It says Paki in the front and has his initials on the back. He's pretty much one of the biggest bad asses you'll ever meet in your life (check out the bike). If you are around the age of 16 stay away from this guy!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Most Awesome Customer Complaint Ever


So me and my buddy Suhaib went to this awesome Pakistani restaurant called Lahore Tikka House. We were leaving the place and saw that the restaurant has a customer complaint board. On the board were two of the best complaints I have ever seen written.